The first pancakes off the griddle are always funky, but you need to make them to get to the good pancakes. So to with drawing or journaling. Do not judge yourself by your first lines on paper on any given day. Similarly your work improves as you make sustained observations with a single subject or persist in your work at it over months. Give yourself room and permission to try, fail, and continue working. It gets better and our early work is an essential part of the process. Be brave, be humble, have fun.